The devil works hard, but Cazzie David’s PR team works harder! With a new book of essays coming out—aptly titled No One Asked For This—Larry David’s influencer daughter has recently enjoyed glowing press in Vogue, Interview, and the New Yorker. “Go ahead, call her a spoiled celeb kid. No one shades Cazzie David better than Cazzie David,” the LA Times proclaimed. 

In the LA Times interview, Cazzie self-deprecatingly gripes about feeling judged for her privilege and wanting to make it on her own merits despite her father’s famous name. (Although she gladly accepted gigs at places like Vanity Fair and Curb Your Enthusiasm using her prestige, according to the article, which also quotes Vanity Fair’s former Editor In Chief referring to Cazzie as “a Nora Ephron for a new generation.”)

With all the hype and PR blitzes came great expectations, naturally—but the first excerpts of the book have failed to impress. 

One essay—published by The Cut—is a transphobic, fatphobic, and heteronormative disaster titled “Too Full to F*ck,” in which Cazzie complains about having to choose between sex and ice cream because apparently her “stomach” doesn’t have room for “two scoops of cream and a penis.” No, this isn’t a metaphor for anything—it’s literally all the essay is about. Just curious, does Cazzie know how sex works? Or the digestive system?

In any case, the piece that was supposed to tantalize readers into buying her book was, instead,  eviscerated on Twitter.

Elle also published Cazzie’s “Love Letter to Quarantine,” which is an excruciatingly unfunny diatribe about how much she appreciates the pandemic giving her an excuse to avoid social settings and eat “peanut butter by the spoonful.” Yikes. The privilege jumped out! 

All of this led to larger discussions about nepotism on Twitter—and how talented creatives are time and time again passed over in favor of well-connected rich kids and celebrity offspring. 

And while I have empathy for Cazzie—this certainly can’t be fun—I have a little more empathy for the other 26-year-old writers out there who probably deserved this book deal more.

The D’Amelio Sisters Are Apparently Extremely Rude

Speaking of things no one asked for: For no discernible reason, TikTok stars Charli and Dixie D’Amelio decided to upload a YouTube video that… didn’t exactly paint them in a positive light.

You can watch it for yourself above, but here’s the rundown: In the video, Charli, Dixie, and their parents are joined by James Charles for a dinner served by chef and family friend Aaron May. When Dixie, 19, realizes she’s been served escargot, she makes a “yucky” face like a toddler, forces herself to try it, spits it out, runs away, and mimics vomiting—all in front of the chef who prepared it. Charles is visibly embarrassed and apologetic, while Mom and Dad simply tell their daughter to “stop being dramatic.” Charli is seen making faces when the chef is reading the menu, and later asks if he had “dino nuggets.”

But that’s not the only thing getting D’Amelio fans riled up. Charli, 16, also complains in the video about not having hit 100 million followers within the past year (at the time of the video, she was “only” at 95 million). Charles snaps back with, “What, was 95 million not enough?” to which Charli responds, “I just like even numbers!”

Naturally, fans were pissed—not only at the apparent lack of manners the sisters displayed at a time when millions of Americans can’t even afford to eat, but at Charli’s ungratefulness to her followers, too. (Since the video dropped, she’s lost roughly 1 million followers on TikTok—scroll to the bottom of that article for the latest number.)

I have no dog in the fight here, since I don’t have a TikTok account and don’t particularly care about any of the platform’s biggest stars. (What’s an Addison Rae?) All I’ll say is: Can we please stop making random teenagers famous? 

Lisa Rinna, What Is You Doing?

This is purely speculative, but the fact that Lisa Rinna maybe sent this “tea” in about her own daughters to Instagram gossip account Deux Moi is sending me.

Look—even the pseudonym is “LR”! I don’t care if it’s true or not at this point, I just like imagining it. (And fans of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills would probably argue that Delilah and Amelia’s childhoods were anything but normal.)

And we can talk about the disturbing romance between 19-year-old Amelia and 37-year-old Scott Disick another time. See you then!